3 Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand. The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him. The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied,"It didn't tickle at all. I laughted at the sight the third guy was bringing over a pinapple."
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
Your mama is so stupid. We was playing catch I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill? She was to used to grabbing the tip.
One time little Johnny was watching tiktok and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly,so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework and when he was done he saw a spill on the table,he went to the sink to grab a cloth but when he came back it was gone.He went to his mom's room and saw a drank with the lable daddy's drank so he drunk it and said it's daddy's he wont mind and all day he was like the flash so he went back turned the bottle around and it said speedy and then he said OH GREAT HEVANS.
Your arms are open They stretch towards me Reaching, grabbing, pulling me Surrounding me Drowning me in my helplessness Time standing still, inside here Looking through windows, time passing by Let me go, will ya
my gay ass: i want to find jesus religous mom: FINALLY me: grabs a noose
if someones debated the speed of light and a drunk russian, the russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet
my mom told me to go to bed but then I grabbed a drink went in their room to say goodnight and they looked like adam and eve on steroids
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls. Man: Ouch
So a man goes to church is dipped in water 3 times by a Priest as he says, " From now on your name is Michael and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol. " . Soon after the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips it in the water 3 times while saying, " From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol. " .
Fall coming đ grab you a hoodie & sum1s thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm đđ
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills and a cop pulls up and he says âmaâam maâam your bag is leaking hundred dollar billsâ then she says âOh thank you I wonder how long thatâs been going onâ and the cop says â before I help you may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 billâ and the Lady says âOK Iâll tell you so I live next to a stadium and I have this beautiful rose garden but heâs dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes so they stick their junk through the fence and I grabbed your junk I said $100 dollars or its coming offâ the cop says âoh OK well whatâs the other bag forâ and she says well not all of them want to give me $100.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, " I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?" Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!" >The teacher grabbed Billy, and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, " Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I ***KNEW*** that damn thing had wheels!"
So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?. A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.
How to get a girl in three steps: Step 1: grab a pillow Step 2: grab a blanket Step 3: keep dreaming
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents? They cry... They scream.. with joy "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents" Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didnt live to tell the tail...
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at and if they cry, just say 'hey here are your parents' then grab nothing. perfect example.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Lady: Can I lick your balls? Me: Ummmmm, Ok? Lady: grabs ball sack and licks my balls Me: I gonna have to clean these now Lady: Let me do that Me: No thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!
