Government assistance jokes

What do Somalians excel at in the United States?

Welfare fraud.

What is welfare fraud supposed to taste like?

Bananas and Rice.

What do Somalians excel at in the US?

Welfare fraud.

What do you call a black couple who's on welfare and food stamps?

Lay-Z and Freeyonce.

Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.

This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.

Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.

How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.