Government assistance jokes
What is welfare fraud supposed to taste like?
Bananas and Rice.
What do you call a black couple who's on welfare and food stamps?
Lay-Z and Freeyonce.
What do Somalians excel at in the United States?
Welfare fraud.
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
What do Somalians excel at in the US?
Welfare fraud.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers