Glue jokes
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
Let’s stick together!
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
I'm inventing a new glue and calling it "Six Seven"... it's a chemical brainrott.
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
What do you call a train that carries glue?
A glue-glue train!
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?
You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.