Game jokes
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Russia vs. Ukraine is the ultimate CS:GO match ever!
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
Why did the NBA remove the glory hole from the men's locker room?
Too many black basketball players sucking too many white cocks before the game.
Why don’t orphans play poker?
'Cause they don’t know what a full house is.
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
I screamed "Jenga" in history class today. We were watching a documentary on 9/11.
What do you call a bad player? A noob.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"