"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
Yo mama so fat.
In Super Mario Galaxy, she was a fucking planet!
Who likes Fortnite? Gwen Stacy is in the game, let's goooooo! I love her!
One more 360 noscope for my montage.
what is an orphan's least favourite game? 44-homes
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why is the US so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
Why are the English so bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Why did the orphan play GTA? So he could get wanted.
Why is America bad at Clash Royale? Because they can't defend their towers.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
Why was the PUBG player sad?
Since all his friends went to school while he went to Pochinki.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
