Final

Final jokes

Woman

  • A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.

    At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."

  • 1
  • Jesus

  • Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.

  • 2
  • Queen

  • Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?

  • 5
  • Orphan

  • One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

    Fly

  • A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.

    Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.

    The French: "But how did you do it?"

    The Italian: "I killed one."

    The German: "So what?"

    The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"

  • 1
  • Homework

  • I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

    Squat

  • A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

    Milk

  • Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"

    He waited for three hours to get an answer.

    His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."

    Suicide

  • Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

    Me: Aren't they the same thing?

  • 2
  • Boss

  • You when you face the boss the first time: :)

    You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

    You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

    You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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