Police: Hey man look at this! * throws cocaine at fan and flew back his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I “crack” the case.
why do atletes cool down fast cause they have fans
wash your hands
Two Australians walk into a bar, they run into the ceiling fan immediately.
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
Someone:hey are you a skeleton? A skeleton: course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans
A blonde crashes a airplane Officer: could you please explain to me what happened? Woman: It got so cold in the plane I turned the fan off. Officer: *face palms self* Also officer: Here's you sign
What makes it cold 🥶 in a room? Air conditioning
I am a George Formby fan,and I love football...my favourite manager was Arsen Wenger...my favourite referee was Collina...my favourite player was Dean Windas........so my favourite George Formby song was Wenger,Collina,Windas
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike- They both worship Datsun.
Anjolina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt... Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
I called my dog 5 miles. Today, I fan over my miles.
I have a daughter she’s a fan her name is penny..... fan she was born on the mountain pen y fan I adopted her because her mum fell of the cliff after birthing penny. It doesn’t matter really penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway
A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says "that is mother teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" Ask's the man. Jesus answers "it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music." The second windmill said, " I'm a big metal fan."
Sweet victory fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded! Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls and the NFL was one of them
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"oh cool"
"this is mother Teresa's clock, the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense"
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
today i explain what things are fake. serial killers, clowns, billy, fairies, your life,God,Jesus,your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff, youtube,your dad,scientists,teachers,God,Jesus, and Billy.
stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake.Alot of idiots will read this.
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
