Family jokes
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home plate is.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...
Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.
Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they can't call anyone their dad.
Why do orphans love playing with boomerangs? Because it always comes back.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?
One is actually used.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
What can orphans not get when playing a sport?
A home run!