Family jokes
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
What is an orphan's first phone?
An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?
It has no home button :D
Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?
They don't have a dad to check the closet.
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Any food an orphan has is a family-sized meal.
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."