Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
The name Brynley means "burnt wood" lolololol.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
POV: Her name is Alli.
What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?
You really thought n****r, didn't you?
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
