Enlargement jokes

What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?

A pedophile.

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."

Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."

Best thing ever right here.

So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.

"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"

Putin's words paint a picture of his world as vast, but in reality, it is shrinking.

Ball stretcher.

Your balls are growing too big that they will pop like a balloon!

When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.