East jokes
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
Your hairline's so bent, it goes west, east, north, and south!
"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.
Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
Bob: Kanye West.
Dad: No, but I can East.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.
An argument in the Middle East.
Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they’ll get stoned.