How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
DoS Jokes
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Royals?
Because they have already lost two towers!
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
What do you call a dog in China?
E10
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because it was Batman!
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
Why do orphans dip their cookies in water?
Because their dad never came back with milk. Ohhhhhhhh!
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
Why do orphans play Roblox? Because there is a game called "Adopt Me!"
Q: What do you call a zombie with no mouth?
A: Useless.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"
