DoS jokes
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
What do Nemo and Emily's dad have in common? They both can't be found.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
What do you say to the orphan?
"Shut up, get a mom and dad!"
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
What do apple trees and orphans have in common?
The apples get picked.
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
What do you call an Emo in the hanging gallows?
Happy for the first time.
What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.
What movie do orphans relate to? Home Alone.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
To be wanted.