Do jokes

Dog

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't f***ing matter, it's still not f***ing coming.

Gun

Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?

Because that's the average class size in America.

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell him, "Clap your hands until your mom comes."

Edge

Akeld: Do you think I should get an edges or a tapeline?

Me: Why not make both of them there? They're both messed up anyway.

Shotgun

Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?

Orphan

What do orphans call a holiday?

A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.

Sex

I've been doing sex moves on myself so I can be ready when I have sex, and by far the funniest thing to do is finger my butt. I go 2 handed sometimes.

Bomb

What do Afghanistan people love about bombs?

They're black and go off.

Hoodie

Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?

Because they are hiding stitches.

Pedophile

Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?