Do jokes
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
What do you call a gay guy on fire?
LGBBQ
What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."
"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)