Do jokes
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?
Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.
What do dark humor and food have in common?
Some get it, some don't.
Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"
So that way they feel important.
Memes
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?
Carlos.
What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?
Panera Shed.
Why do orphans hate cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.