Do jokes

Orphan

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the cow.

Condom

Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Memes

Suicide attempt

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

Lesbian

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.