Do jokes

How do you properly eat a vegetable?

You tip over the wheelchair.

What do you call a baby potato?

Small fry!

How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?

Stop eating caterpillars.

Why can’t you give an orphan homework?

Because they don’t have a home to do it in.

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho cheese!

How do you get a nun pregnant?

You dress her up as an altar boy.

What do you call a duck on drugs?

A quackhead.

What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.

I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?

Because I am a bully!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?

LEAN BEEF!

What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?

A box of crackers.

How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

What do you call a downy under water?

Dead fish

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.

I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?

Names.