Do jokes
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
Memes
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
What show do orphans hate?
Family Guy.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
How do mountains see? They peek.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.