Dis jokes

Bully: "Hey little Timmy, you look like an ugly rat."

Timmy: "Well, at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie, unlike you."

Bully: Dies from embarrassment. 😱

What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.

I got jealous when my phone dies.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.

When does an emo get jealous at a phone?

When it dies.

Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.

Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?

I mean, the one I fucked died.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.

I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.