Diary jokes

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!

What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”

Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?

Concentration problems.

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

What did Ron put in his diary?

I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.

My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.