I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.
