Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Dessert Jokes
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.
For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Anong tawag sa cake na may ubo?
Edi cough cake! NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAKAJAHA LT TLGA BOSIT
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
