Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Dad Jokes
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.
Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
