Crisis Intervention jokes

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

Tbh they really left me hanging there.

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.

When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.