Crack-up

Crack-up jokes

Egg

19 views ·

Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.

Egg

16 views ·

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

Mama

8 views ·

Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.

Titanic

6 views ·

People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!

Roast

70 views ·

1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

Coke

17 views ·

How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?

He CRACKed up.