Couple jokes

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.

What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."