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A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the fathers back. Keeping calm he tells the sons, “well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor.” He chuckled then passed out from pain.

A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, “Mom why is my name Rose?”

The mom responded, “Well you see, when were you born, a rose petal fell on your head.”

The second one asks her, “Then why is my name Daisy?”

The mom chuckled and simply replied with, “When you were born, Daisy petals on your head.”

The last one said, “DUH DUR SURH!”

The mom said, “SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!”

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ¨I will go ask God!¨ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ¨You are what you are!¨ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ¨What is wrong?¨ The zebra answers, ¨Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ´You are what you are!´¨ His friend says, ¨Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ´You is what you is!´

3 cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.

Cowboy 1 says ´´ I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands´´

Cowboy 2 says ´´ I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb´´

Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.

[god creating Asians] “aliright and the design is finished, see our new model the Asian. It has no hair at all”. Angel asks “does it eat normal food”?, god replies, “ (chuckling) oh no not at all.