Bulletproof jokes

Why is Black Panther every cops worst nightmare?

He is a bulletproof black man

Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?

A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.