Bomb jokes
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
If I get an atom, I would split it with you.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
A Black man walked into a bar.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
Where are fart bombs made?
Old people's arses!
There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.
Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"