Mom:they say our kid neighbor has a blue blood Son:really? Also 2 hour later Son:mom the kid doesnt have a blue blood Mom:son i-
Sorry for my bad english U-U
========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -
"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump.... what the fuck up with that dude, man ?
"Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas !)
. . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for bein' fucked up, for instance ....
STUMP : TEENY DICK
BUMP : TINY TIT
GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP : IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP : AN ASS
DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP : SEE "HUMP"
. . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP VAT 'O SCAT MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO STRAIGHT TO HELL BITCH !! ....
HA!HA!HA!HA ! YESSS !!
.... well boys and girls, that's gonna be about it for me, as I think my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a big turn for the worse !"
......(splort !, plop !, drip !) ....... OOOOPS ! 'snif, snif' ........
..... ewwwwww !!
(audience growing uneasy and unruly)
"Fuhhk ! ... I better go now , 'cause I just went ! ... ha! ha! ha! ...... Yikes !!
GOOD NIGHT LAZIES, AND GERBILMEN ! PLEASE DRIVE RECKLESSLY !
(curtain drops)
(continuous laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants peeing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', fists fuckin', guns poppin', blood pumpin')
"OH LORDY !!... I THINK HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH,
... AND ARMAGITTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE !!"
(one very quick curtain call, and swiftly out the back door to an awaiting taxi ............ with ALL the windows rolled down) Whew ! ............ Amen. ==============================
What do you call a bloody pig? HAMorrhage!
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period? I will be back next month
Why do vampires drink blood? because they can't drink bloodly Marys because they are vampires
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick? when there is blood coming out of dick instead of sperm
*World war 2 going on and then stops* Me: I guess you vould say it was a gory-ious battle.
what does a make a wish kid and mosquitoes have in common? They Both Got A 10% Survival Rate...
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father & mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them. They all get under the covers Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood curdling scream. "MOMMY WATCH OUT THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his fathers penis in his mouth and chomps down. Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a cat
roses are red my blood is too i see a lot when i lost u
There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
I have WWII in my blood since my great grandfather killed hitler.
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand. Moments after I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
Roses are red Your blood is tooyou look like a monkey and belong in a zoo Do not worry i will be there too not in a cage but laghing at you
why did the bat cross the road because to get blood bar
what's black and red and is a liquid? my scars!
Jesus took bread and said: "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said: "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise and Peter said: "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"
I told my cousin since we're not blood related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
