Bean Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

Fart

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.

When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!

Giraffe

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!

Memes

Night

The image displays the text "FIRST NIGHT TOGETHER" at the top, followed by two sections. The left side labeled "HER" shows a black lace bra and garter set. The right side labeled "ME" shows a pair of men's underwear covered in a pattern of baked beans.

Quality

You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.

Mum

Beans, your mum is fat!

Orphan

Beans and toast.

Hospital

Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.

People

People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.

Coffee

Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.

Memes

Time

Mr Bean Meme

The image shows two grayscale stills of Mr. Bean looking directly at the camera with a peculiar expression. The text above the images says: "Me every time I see a security camera". The first image also displays a timestamp: 55:10:12:20 and identifier: 31-HNA/10

Cat

A close-up shot of an orange cat's paw with pink toe beans. A small, pink pill is lying on the ground next to it. The text overlay says "HELP HELP HIS BEAN FELL OFF".

People

The image contains four screenshots of tweets. The first by Beans After Dark says "british people be like im bri ish". The second by ryan says "british ppl wake up in a bathtub full of ice with their kidneys gone n be like 'right. what's all this then?'". The third by quinn says "British people could watch their family be murdered and be like 'hmmm i dont quite fancy that'". The fourth by Caleb says "British people be like 'litchrally'"

Rat

A gray rat stands on its hind legs, wearing blue jeans, with a background of baked beans. The text above the rat reads: "DESPITE ALL MY BEANS I AM STILL JUST A RAT IN SOME JEANS."

Paw

The image shows six pictures of cat paws. Each paw is labeled with a different type of bean or pea. The first picture shows a black paw labeled "Black Bean". The second picture shows a pink paw labeled "Pink Pea". The third picture shows a gray paw with pink beans labeled "Pinto Bean". The fourth picture shows a dark paw with black beans labeled "Black Eyed Pea". The fifth picture shows a black paw with white beans labeled "Chickpea". The sixth picture shows a white paw with black and pink beans labeled "Mixed Beans".

Slur

They’re talking abt the Mexican slur 💀

A dark-themed chat with the text: "No, ginger. What even is a uhm, thing with bean in it? Is it like a cult?" The chat is from today at 5:39 PM.

Intercourse

I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.

A screenshot of a social media post. The post starts with the text: "I'm asexual!!!! It took me 12 or so years to figure that out. The idea of intercourse between two people disgusts me so much, why would someone do that?" There are two comments below. The first comment says: "Let me guess, you had a 'wait, they're serious about that?? I thought everyone was joking!' moment? :)"

Human

I guess all humans are bisexual because it’s “the default”

A post on a social media platform with the title "Normal" and an emoji of a waste bin. There are two comments below. One user named Lex suggests that there is no normal, only a majority. The second user named A Wild Bean suggests that bisexuality is the human default.

Mr Bean

A photo of a tablet on a table displaying a custom-made Pokemon card of Mr. Bean. The card lists his name, HP, and two attack abilities with descriptions and attack points.

Day

A glass with baked beans, a cocktail umbrella and a sausage as decoration. The text says: "Days like this call for a beana colada".

Mate

A hand holds a homemade ice lolly made of baked beans in a red and blue popsicle mold. The text at the top reads: Tag a mate who'd smash a baked bean ice lolly.

Community

Hi-Cholesterol Fan

Gotta heat up some Beans to go with the Weens hahaha.

dr pepper jelly beans in mah mouth

Beans on toast is more of a punishment than a british dish