Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
Two terrorists walk into a bar. The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says “We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey” The Bartender asks “Why a donkey?” Then Terrorist 2 says “See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people.”
A guy is sitting at a bar, when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!”
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop some HOT BARS
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to drop some HOT BARS in the kitchen
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the BARS
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to cook up some FIRE BARS
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day
A blind man walks into a woman’s bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says before you tell your joke you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols, do you still want to tell that joke cowboy. He thought for a second and said not if I have to explain it five times.
I tried to get into an emo bar but I didn't make the cut.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could COUNT his BARS
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he knew how to COUNT his BARS
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A MONEY MANAGER who counts BARS
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To drop some BARS on the other side
