A red head, a dark haired, and blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun! The blonde states " I agree let’s leave at night "!

A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.

A Grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter…The Bartender looked at him and said, “We have a drink named after you”. The Grasshopper replied, “Who names a drink Steve?”

A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten to death.

A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says “Bartender, I want to buy that douche bag a drink”. The bartender says “You can’t talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I’m going to throw you out!”. The drunk says “Okay, I’m sorry. I’d like to buy the lady a drink”. The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says “The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?”. She says “Vinegar and water”

A baby seal walks into a club…

Dog walks into a bar… & Sez to bartender . I’m looking for the man who shot my paw…

A nucleus walked into a bar, he asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”

Logic fire bars in fottntoe sped up to sound like he chipmmumnun like Alvin and Simoen ans z Theode :)


What is the difference between a human and a tree? A tree can not walk and human can walk

Steven Hawking walks into a bar… Yeah.

(Not Original Joke)

Stephen Hawking walked into a bar…

…Just kidding

A blind man walked into a bar …

And a table and a chair

This man walks into a bar and says… “how do i get service here.” The assistant bar attendent tells him him to take a seat as the bar tender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes the man says this is ridiculous that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes goes buy and the man then says ok i get it no service of beer but free nuts to which the assistant says hell no the game starts in 10 minutes. Everyone laughs and claps.

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

Two Australians walk into a bar, they run into the ceiling fan immediately.

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, “AU, get outta here!”

What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay Bar let’s go get shit faced

There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.