Are jokes

Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?

That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

Viewers: Dora.

Trump: No, I am President Trump.

Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.

Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.

America and UK are a joke.

Who can jump the highest?

Emo kids, some are still in the air.

My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.

A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.

There are multiple. That’s the joke.

When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"

Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.

Emo people are like other emo people, they're emo. Laugh now or I'll cut your eyes out. Tee hee!

What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.

Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

We are in a matrix, wake up.

Priests are priests.

Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?