Apprehender jokes

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.

A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.