Anxiety jokes
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
Evan
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.
Why was 7 afraid of 6?
Because 6 8 7.
You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?
Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
My anxiety has anxiety.
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.