Anxiety jokes
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Depression"
"Depression wh-"
ME!! *runs away*
Evan
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Why was 7 afraid of 6?
Because 6 8 7.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.