How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
Animal Behavior Jokes
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.