Animal behavior jokes

How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck its dick.

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.

I had a dog with an eating disorder.

He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.

Why did the stoner cross the road?

He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.

Why didn't the bear go to college?

Because bears don't go to college.

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.