And jokes

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

Girl: Hey.

Orphan: Hi.

Girl: Wanna be friends?

Orphan: Sure.

Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.

Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

The rope doesn't hang from itself.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?

You decide.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.

What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.

"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."