And jokes

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad, I know, yeah, I'm sad, I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.

I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I think broken heart's contagious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost then I'm found. But it's torture bein' in love. I love when you're around. But I f**kin' hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.

Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.

What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple always gets picked.

Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.

Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.

What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?

They both have no way home.

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.

I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.

You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.