And jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit's fingers!

I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?

Shrek's dick.

Why can't religion and science agree?

Because science creates skyscrapers, and religion combines with skyscrapers.

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

What's the difference between me and you?

Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-

My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?

The double trouble.

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bartender here?"

Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."

What’s the difference between autism and gender?

Gender is binary, autism is a spectrum.

In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”

What is the similarity between Hitler and orphans?

They both don't have parents.

What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?

My stepdad did beat cancer.

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!