And jokes

What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?

One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.

bean

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.

Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.

My wife cheated on me with my brother.

She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?

Well, it only takes one nail.

A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.

My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

ceci

What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?

The apple... the emo just hangs there.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.

Iambob

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

doraAnonymous

When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.

What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.

imBigjohnnylongdong

What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?

...Rape.

Mike Litoris

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

Man

Moan moan moan moan and I moan more moan again moan moan and again and ×1000000.

Sbeebs141