And jokes
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.