And jokes

Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. đź’€

A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."

Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.

Not to mention and by plane.

You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?

Me: Where's your parents?

Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?

Me: Because it has a home button.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.

Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?

Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.