Ame jokes

I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.

"Who am I?"

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?

Why am I dumb?

Because I’m dumb.

Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?

Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

Roses are red,

I am dead.

You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.

I am starting a frog cult now!

Teacher: I am an orphan.

Students: Oof.

Teacher: Is there anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

Hi, are you even my sister?

Yes, I am.

No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.

Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.

My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.

Hey, I'm Gwen. I just want to say I am speechless.

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D

I AM SFLUGO FOUNDER OF THE PRO ORPHAN JOKE CLUB. Just want to say that people spamming does nothing and we will keep making our jokes!! #SaveOrphanJokes and please say in the comments if you want to join the club.

Having sex with three people is a threesome.

Having sex with four people is a foursome.

Then maybe I am handsome after all...

I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake).

I AM FUCKING HAPPY AS HELL.

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.