Allergic Jokes

What's the difference between milk and my dad?

Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.

What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.

One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂

What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?

...Ollie the clown!

I don't think I'm allergic to this.

I'm hertophobic -

aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.

I'm hertophobic.

It means I'm allergic to straights.

Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.

Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!

I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"

My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.