Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
I love you all the way to Uranus! đ¤Ł
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and youâre mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because youâre a chronic addict.
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldnât think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, âWhat is your one wish, my son?â He said, âI wish you can make them all ugly again.â
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
You know you're high when you hold all your pineapples hostage and yell, "SpongeBob, I know you're in there!"
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. đ
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because theyâre shellfish!
