All jokes
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.