What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?
Because they keep cutting in line.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.
A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question.”
St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister responds, “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.
Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.
Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
