Alike jokes

How are giants and strippers alike?

They both grind men's bones to make their bread.

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?

You can't get either one at home.

How are guys and tile floors alike?

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.