Abuse

Abuse jokes

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.

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  • Why do I call my priest daddy?

    Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.

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  • You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

    What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

    I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

    What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

    Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.

    I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

    How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.

    Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"

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